feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you win again, gameday.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
