at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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