I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just cropdusted the office
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
