you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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