we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
