We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
