I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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