I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
why is half of my head shaved?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
