oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
