Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
