I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love having hate sex.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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