my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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