I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
