DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
