Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
