I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
