why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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