he shaved USA in his pubs
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
