So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
