But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm just crazy horny about you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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