Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
