I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
