I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
