I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
