I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
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