Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
