Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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