That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
