Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
