Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
