apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
