All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
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