Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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