so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize