good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
