..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
