I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
