I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He kissed a someone with a penis
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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