he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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