We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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