so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
