mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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