I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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