Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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