Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
two words...techno handjob
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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