There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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