Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
