I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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