I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
