is your mom at the bar?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
