Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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