He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
