i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
