Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
