You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
