Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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