Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
