She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
In other news, I just burned my penis
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
