I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
