i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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