i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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