Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
