It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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