i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Even my vagina gasped.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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